How Can We Help People Who Are Going Through Divorce?

How Can We Help People Who Are Going Through Divorce?

Divorce can be one of the most challenging and emotional experiences a person will face. Whether they are considering separation, currently in the process, or rebuilding their lives post-divorce, offering support can make a significant difference in their journey. Here’s how you can help someone who is going through a divorce in a meaningful, empathetic, and practical way.

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1. Listen to Their Story Without Judgment

One of the most impactful ways to support someone going through a divorce is simply to listen. Encourage them to share their story—start to finish—without interruption. Many people have never told their story because they fear being judged or burdening others. Show them respect and kindness by creating a safe space for them to open up.

• Tip: Express empathy by reacting appropriately. A small gasp or a sympathetic nod can let them know you’re genuinely horrified by what they’ve endured without derailing their narrative.

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2. Identify Emotional Cues

Divorce can bring a flood of emotions, including despair, fear, anxiety, confusion, and depression. Look for signs that indicate deeper struggles, such as exhaustion or feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells.” These cues can suggest that the person may be navigating an unhealthy or even abusive marriage.

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3. Avoid Platitudes

Well-meaning but unhelpful phrases like “Things will get better” or “Just try harder” can make someone feel invalidated or misunderstood. Instead, ask, “How can I help you?” and offer genuine support without imposing your own beliefs or expectations.

• Important Note: Nearly half of women killed by homicide are victims of their intimate partners. Be mindful of this statistic when offering advice, and prioritize safety over assumptions.

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4. Support Their Awareness

Many people in abusive relationships don’t recognize the abuse. They may think behaviors like control, intimidation, or selfishness are typical in all marriages. Gently guide them to understand their situation without pressuring them to make immediate decisions.

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5. Don’t Demand Action

Hearing someone’s heartbreaking story may make you want to urge them to leave immediately. However, this approach can backfire. The person may feel overwhelmed, frightened, or even compelled to stay in the abusive relationship due to fear or familiarity. Respect their timeline and readiness. Only they can decide when it’s time to take the next step.

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6. Respect Their Autonomy

Remind them that their decisions are valid and that they are the only ones who know what happens behind closed doors. While you may dislike divorce as a general concept, express your unconditional support for their well-being and safety. Let them know that their life and happiness matter.

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7. Provide Tools for Safety

If someone is being stalked, monitored, or controlled, they may need access to a safe device to seek help. Offer your phone or computer so they can research resources, call for help, or create a safety plan without fear of being tracked. Additionally, you can guide them to resources like Focus Ministries’ comprehensive Safety Plan.

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Why Your Support Matters

Going through a divorce is isolating, but having a compassionate and understanding ally can make all the difference. By listening, validating their experiences, and offering practical help, you empower them to take the steps they need at their own pace. Remember, your support can be a beacon of hope during one of the darkest times in their life.

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You Are Not Alone

When I went through my divorce, I felt like I lost everything. My church home of over six years and all of my "Christian" friends turned their backs on me. No one was willing to listen, and instead, I was judged. To make things worse, my ex spread lies about me to anyone who would listen, painting himself as the victim. I was shattered and felt completely alone.

That experience is why I became a Certified Divorce Coach—I never want anyone to feel as isolated and broken as I did. You are not alone. Even if it feels like you've lost everyone you thought was in your corner, I am here for you. I'll stand by your side, be your support, and help you see the brighter future ahead as you reclaim your life and step into your God-given purpose. 💜

Healing isn’t linear, but with courage, intention, and the right support, you can create a life filled with peace and purpose. Schedule a consultation with me today and start your journey toward renewal.

If you’re ready to take the next step or just want to explore what divorce coaching could look like for you, reach out. I’ll be with you every step of the way, offering support, encouragement, and hope for the future you deserve.

Together, we’ll rediscover the incredible person you are.

You’ve got this—and I’ve got you.

Warmly,

Mariel Morgan
Certified Divorce Coach